Below is an excerpted version of the original question that we received:
Just finished reading KBL [Kids Beyond Limits]. It is going to be awhile before I can meet with a practitioner, so would like to start implementing the 9 Essentials “yesterday”! I have a 15-y.o. daughter with SPD, CAPD, eye-tracking/convergence issues, maybe inattentive ADHD thrown in the mix. Being a teen, and having been through the primitive reflex work already without gains we can see are attributed to Masgutova work specifically, well, she’s a bit demoralized and thinking, “here mom goes again…” I don’t know how to NOT convey to her the message she needs “fixing” and make the 9 Essentials a more a “normal” part of her day.
Answer
It is very common for children with special needs to feel that they are failing their parents and other adults when they do not improve as expected, whether they know what the expectations are or not.
I suggest that you be open in a gentle and mindful way with your daughter and ask her some questions:
1. Ask her what she feels about her experience with Masgutova.
She will be able to answer and express herself or not.
2. Then ask her if she would like to know your experience.
And if she says Yes: don’t say much, say it with a light tone, and tell her that you are a little disappointed but not disappointed in her. You can also say something like: I’m disappointed that I was not able to be more useful to you and I’m not about to give up.
3. Next, tell her about reading this book (Kids Beyond Limits).
Tell her that it is all about the child’s experience and not the adult’s expectations. In this book, there are fun things that you can do with her that will not only help her brain but also help your brain to do better.
4. Ask her if she is willing to play with you.
Promise her that if she doesn’t like any of the things that you do, you’ll stop, and together, you’ll find ways that she likes to make use of the Nine Essentials.
For those of you who want to know more about connecting with your child, read this excerpt From Fixing to Connecting.
Or you can watch or listen to our NeuroMovement Revolution Podcast: From Fixing to Connecting: Leveraging the Power of the Brain to Change.
You can also download the chapter From Fixing to Connecting from Kids Beyond Limits for free.
