Conflicting Recommendations for Your Child with Special Needs

Shift From Fixing to Connecting

I have been contemplating the answer to this question:

What do you do when you receive conflicting recommendations from ABM practitioners and other professionals?

In the last few weeks, I have been working with many children and their families—something that I am so grateful for and inspired by! All the while, in my brain, there has been the question of what advice or information I can give you that will actually be helpful.

It’s just dawned on me that before anything I write or say could be useful to you, regarding this issue of conflicting suggestions and recommendations, it is important that you truly grasp—not just on the intellectual level, but also on your deepest emotional level—the distinction between trying to “fix” your child to “connecting” with your child.

As I am writing this, I am realizing that my answer to you is going to take the form of a process, yours and mine. The first step in this process is to read the 2nd chapter in Kids Beyond Limits: From Fixing to Connecting. You can download this chapter free of charge here: Free Chapters from Anat’s Books.

I recommend that you read this chapter at least three times. Your job, at this time, is to observe yourself and notice moments when you are in the “fixing” mode.  I know this is not an easy thing to do, and to trust! So don’t try to do anything at this time. The first step is to simply observe yourself…

I would love it if you would share with us some of your insights and your unique ways of being a “fixer” of your child. Also pay attention to moments when you are out of that mode, and connecting with your child, by using an Essential or in your own spontaneous way. Please share these moments with us, as well.

It is not until you become more skillful at shifting from fixing to connecting that you will be able to understand, take in, and make use of my forthcoming suggestions, as to how to best make decisions in the face of conflicting recommendations.

I look forward to hearing how it is going for you. Please join us on social media!

Anat Baniel